StillSmart

Make you intoxicated

With killer venom?

that can kill..

....at 30 paces..

east twenty north

...by north west..

by the old...

ginger tom cat

Just to sum up...

She came out One Monday morning To find her rusty old Citroën had exploded and her Ann Summers Red hot inflatable sailing dinghy was Melted all over Not in the Her hairy bush is now all Singed beyond repair Shame because she Had stronger liqueur Than her Russian secret agent lover. He wasn't happy To be wearing a tee shirt He won at A bowls club Because it said "distill for freedom" Or die you Capitalistic rum swilling And ginger bearded pig tailed hippy who has never ever ever ever Drunk himself stupid or been near so much as he can remember. The next day his head hurt So did his .large genital area The smel was Somewhat akin to. a rotten pumpkin Aldi's finest lasagne just after it.. Was buggered by by the fact that someone had stollen the cake that was baked to hang from the Chrimbo tree near the window facing due north looking out for a Polar Bear, he looks hungry enough to eat the mince pies, Drink the brandy And snort the Bicarbonate of soda this made him Die horribly slowly, falling over he Activated the alarm fashion police to check his undercrackers For bicarbonate stains in the morning he broke wind and flew away to a land Populated by virgin strains of pygmy Pink nosed elephants with yellow spotted ears that flapped when he sprinted for the bus but alas he fell into the pit of doom otherwise known as The Doom Pit? Where strange things including a ladder with no rungs which was useless. Luckily there was a magical rope to escape with, starting to climb hand over fist he made it from copper tube but the condenser Was tissue paper this fell apart So did his home built dephlegmator which caused the whole thing to spill on the Electrical power outlet, a blinding flash Lit up the Gigantic cavern interior Of the temple Known to earthlings As Eu brexit When suddenly a Big Christmas Pudding hit the windscreen of the Royal Mail delivery van "Well",Said Lizzie That saves me from all the Sticky brewers caramel biscuits in chocolate coloured skid marks are a medical Marvel surpassed only by the introduction of brand new stain resistant underwear that was developed By Richard Noble the man who Manufactures beautiful cars that can, reputably DEMOLISH Ferraris, Lambos loads of cash make you bankrupt. then you have Hit rock bottoms its very dark in here, Icefever Put that candle down before you do something that wakes the spirits or sets them screaming and shouting " make mine a double, I'm going. blindly on wearing These cowboy boots making big steps towards a brighter and more rewarding Dandelion Burdock wash And the incomprehensibilities of it all. It's madness says. Baggy trousered Suggs singing Our House is made of tin foil hats this will protect the middle of Our street. But Our brewing sheds will get blown down by grey squirrels running up up and down His hand moved they ran for shelter from the Shotgun he held near his favourite warm physical attribute his cowboy boots were made from ribbon sliced homegrown Organic barley straw The colour of a large rainbow Well, Doggone he said to himself which was strange that makes two His twin said jump now or. Drink Chilli Vodka, you feeling lucky???? said the ventriloquist the dummy answered. no not that You idiot, get get your hand out my shirt Stop pulling my Christmas turkey stuffing it's walnuts, apricots and squirrel shit let's have a drink before loading the end of An antique blunderbuss black powder first Into the open room full of corrupt county councilors With their big Ceremonial chains hanging around a box of chocolate fireguards Drinking cachaca strip with pink umbrellas olives and a Stirrer made from Unused copper fittings taste of sulphate. ye gods he Said as he Considered his situation shaken not stired he grabbed his coat and ran towards the pier the paddle steamer failed to stop A large dollop of overripe bananas turned to wine made him tipsy Then very drunk He fell over the rainbow coloured Comode he had Nitrous oxide fitted retrospectively to the Scuba gear that was painted with Radar evading camouflage seemingly, attracted hordes of killer bees their sting will Make you intoxicated With killer venom? that can kill.. at 30 paces east twenty north by north west by the old ginger tom cat ....

End of Story.

encore encore encore

Brilliant Gadget...I've seen this done before on another forum. I must admit it reads ok...I think we have a best seller.. maybe even the "Man Booker Prize" we're in with a chance, what you guys spending your winnings on??





Chapter #2...

Lord Willoughby looked.....

...rumbustious in his...

....velvet plus 4's....

..and red boots..